The other day I posted a certain video that has seemingly caused a lot more dorama, issues, and misunderstanding than ever intended. This video was shot as a light hearted piece of humour. Now, the problem seems to be that my particular brand of humour is easily misinterpreted. I seek to redress this issue, drag everyone back to comprehension, and get all this fuss over and done with. I apologise for the following wall of text, but it seems it’s a necessity.
I figure that maybe it was the way I talk (either drunk or sober) that may have been the issue. Or maybe that the audio did glitch a couple of times for no apparent reason causing people to miss a word or two. For this I have a solution – a transcript:
Well, you know how it’s tradition for when you’re getting married to go on a stag do and a hen do? Fiancée is off, currently, having her hen do, with all the friends and such like that, over at Bristol. This gives me opportunity to have my stag do, with all of my friends. [Pans camera to reveal, with a smile, an empty room]. No seriously, my friend, he did make it today. And he’s right here. [Holds up a bottle of Captain Morgan]. Yeah, this is my best friend, well other obviously than my best man. But yeah, this is my friend who, right now, is sitting right in, oddly enough, my Kopparberg glass. But either way, happy stag do.
For whatever reason, this sparked off some people feeling bad, some sad, some angry, and some just found it funny. Those of the latter party got the correct answer. It was funny. Why is this?
My sense of humour is pretty dry. In the scale of the oceans to the Atacama desert, my humour registers somewhere in the region of Saturn. I’m also pretty sarcastic. Add in a dash of grumpy old man and you get me, pretty much. Think of me a little like a younger, better looking, Jack Dee, sans the suit. This sense of humour suits me and comes to me naturally, therefore I run with it. Sadly, people often interpret this humour as me being serious. This makes it more amusing for me, but realistically it just causes issues. I don’t consider this my problem, as I’m not the one getting me wrong. As you can probably guess, I don’t intend to change it.
An additional part of my humour is that I’m self depreciative. I put myself down a lot. What people don’t notice as much is that I also big myself up too. I mix and match between seeming self loathing, and arrogant narcissism. I do this because it’s mostly not true. This falls in line with the sarcasm part.
Hopefully somewhere along the way you might have noticed the humour in my video. I was false mocking myself for having no friends with me on my stag do, which I didn’t appear upset about at all. Because I wasn’t upset at all. Not in the slightest.
My “stag do” was exactly what I wanted. I specifically asked to have no event exactly because my ideal stag do was one spent alone with a bottle of rum and my computer. I was doing exactly the thing I enjoyed most to relax. There’s more to this though.
I have an almost total indifference toward tradition and I have an abject dislike for superstition. Wedding traditions and superstitions are all the more flummoxing to me. Can’t see the bride before, is a good one. Something to do with luck. People who have spoken to me have probably heard me say, at least once, that there is no such thing as luck – only probability and chance. I stand firm by this. As this superstition is also a tradition, and something I’m expected to uphold, I’ll do it. Not because I agree, but because I will compromise and follow the wishes of my beautiful bride-to-be. Stag and Hen dos, however, are something I don’t understand at all, and have no intention of playing along with.
A … stag do … is a party held for a man shortly before he enters marriage, to celebrate his “last night of freedom”.
Last night of freedom? This makes zero sense to me. Am I to understand that marriage is perceived to be a lack of freedom? I don’t see it that way at all. As things stand right now I’m free to do the activities I wish to do. After marriage I’ll be free to do the activities I wish to do. Marriage isn’t death, it’s a ceremony used to signify the devotion between two people who love each other. It shows that they plan to spend the rest of their lives together. On a related note, before marriage generally comes a lasting relationship that carries the same responsibilities as marriage. Why would someone have any more freedom on a stag do than any other time in the relationship before or after marriage? Why would they have any less freedom after marriage? They don’t. See where I’m going with this?
“But it’s just a party for the groom/bride”. Sure. We get one of those at the wedding. Together.
Further to this, I’m not a party animal. I’ve been out and about in the past, enjoyed my clubbing time and all that, but I’m not someone who enjoys doing it too much, or when I’m not interested in doing so. This is because I am an introverted person:
Introverts often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, using computers, hiking and fishing. The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to introverts is choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents. They are more analytical before speaking. Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement, introversion having even been defined by some in terms of a preference for a quiet, more minimally stimulating external environment.
I’m also quite shy. I’ve learned to adapt to a particular degree, so people don’t see it so much. It’s still true though. A result of this is that my perfect “last night of freedom” was spent on my own, participating in activities of my own choosing and my own enjoyment. I was completely content with my own company. This may be an alien concept to a lot of people. Certainly, almost everyone I know are extraverts. I believe this is one of the common reasons behind the misconception that I was sad, or upset, about not getting the generally accepted version of a stag party.
To all those people who think that – stop it! Just because you have a preconceived vision of what something should be, it doesn’t mean that it’s how it has to be. Nor does it mean that it’s how everyone wants it. I’ll be honest here – it’s a little arrogant for anyone to try to force their ideals on anyone else. This is pretty much what you’re doing when you assume that everyone wants a big party. I don’t. Get over it. Please?
The long long story short, I specifically and explicitly decided that my “stag do” would be carried out at home, with myself as my own company, doing exactly what I wanted. The video I made was made in jest of myself in my particular sarcastic humour. The only person I was taking a dig at, sarcastically, was myself. If anyone thinks I was talking about them, or someone else, you’re wrong. If you think I was at all sad, you’re wrong. If you think I was lonely, you’re also wrong. If you think I need a stag party, you’re wrong. In that context, please respect my wishes on the lead-up events of one of the biggest days of my life, and I’ll probably respect you a little more for doing so.
Essentially, the TL;DR would be – You’re wrong. Get it right.